Terminal
by goldangit
Summary: Hermione thinks she might have a terminal illness. She tries to find it in books, but it's not there. What does she really have?


March 2

It's the eyes that always get me. Especially when those said eyes are blue. Why? _Why?_ Why did he have to have blue eyes when nothing else about him is right? Meeting him for the first time, I could feel my I.Q. drop 10 points from just being in the same room as the bloke. But taking a good look, a look that took me straight to his eyes, left me feeling uneasy. Something I never felt before.

Now, after six years of friendship and sudden danger, the uneasiness hasn't gone away. It's gotten worse. Great. I keep feeling things that I've never felt before and it has nothing to do with the usual worry that I feel for Ron and Harry whenever the two of them decide to go off on some mad adventure. I've begun to keep a log of all the times these feelings happen, as they have begun to become quite frequent, so that I can find a common denominator to said feelings.

_October 15, 8:00am, Great Hall_

_Was reading _The Daily Prophet_ as usual when Ron was being his usual manner less self and reached across me for the pumpkin juice. (Honestly, couldn't he have asked like a normal person to pass it?) His arm bumped me and my stomach flipped over like I had just experienced a sudden drop. Feeling quickly passed._

_November 27, 5:15pm, Common Room_

_Doing homework when Ron asked for my help on his potions essay. (Where would the boy be without me to help him on his homework?) I tell him that he should look in Chapter 54 of his book and point this out to him. In doing so I have to lean over him and catch his smell at the same time. Result is butterflies in my stomach._

_December 5, 2:30pm, Quidditch Pitch_

_Gryffindor beat Slytherin! Ha! Watching Ron make fantastic save, he sees me and smiles. Again stomach feels as though I have been dropped._

_January 25, 1:00pm, Herbology_

_Taking notes on the pros and cons of…a…plant. I can't seem to remember at the moment which one because I was too preoccupied with Ron. Staring at me. With those eyes. What is wrong with me? I must be coming down with a cold because my face feels flushed._

Each one only gets worse. Believe me, I've done extensive research on these symptoms and individually, they all lead to a fatal end but I can find nothing combined. I have asked Madam Pince for all the books Hogwarts has on sickness and diseases, but to no avail. I told her I was researching for a potions assignment. (Personally, I don't think she believed me. Good thing I'm always on her good side.) What can this mean? Have I become terminally ill without prior knowledge? Am I going to die? I can't die; I mean how will Harry and Ron ever get heir homework done?

March 5

Bugger! Pavarti and Lavender found my "log". Immediately started questioning me and tried to give me love advice. Love advice? What would I do with such a silly thing? I need to study for N.E.W.T.s and for my Arithmancy exam next week. I have no time for love nor do I feel love for anyone in Hogwarts. Honestly, how can one pursue a good career if all one thinks about is love and boys and beauty spells? Sometimes I wonder if all the beauty spells that my two roommates perform don't affect their thinking.

How silly of me! I now realize, after looking at the incident in hindsight that Lavender and Pavarti thought that I fancy Ron! How could I? He is my best friend and simply all wrong for me. I could make a list showing all the things that prove I do not fancy Ron, contrary to popular belief.

He is entirely too rude for words. For example, when he eats dinner rolls, he doesn't eat them in bites like a normal person. No! He has to shove the whole thing in his mouth at once then proceeds to carry on his conversation still chewing! One would think that his mother never taught him any manners, when in fact; I know personally that she is a very polite woman (apart from her temper).

He needs my help for everything! From homework to defeating Voldemort, it's always, "Hermione can you help me with my essay _please_?" "Hermione, you would know where to look for such and such so that me and Harry can figure out where You-Know-Who is. Help us please?" Sometimes it's not a question even, it's a demand.

He always insults me and we fight all too often for me to fancy him.

He stares at me and it makes my stomach do bizarre things. Like drop, flip over, have butterflies, etc.

How could I fancy Ron when he has all these things against him? It's simply logical that I have a terminal illness. I still have to find the name for it.

March 8

I have still been searching for my terminal disease in the library. I just can't seem to find anything that contains all my symptoms. Perhaps I have a combination of illnesses that have mutated into some new kind of illness. Wouldn't that be lovely if I was written into _Hogwarts: A History_ because I died of this new disease? It would have to be called something intelligent, nothing like Hermione Disease or any other dim name like that. No, stop thinking like that Hermione! I am _not_ going to die! I'm going to find a cure for this even if I have to go about finding it myself. Symptoms only include however – still - I should say, stomach problems. Yet I have found the common denominator for it all. After five and half months of extensive logging and reviewing my notes several times over I am proud to say that said symptoms only occur when a certain someone is being ridiculous. This someone is Ron, and I personally believe-

Stupid, thickheaded, great prat of a boy! I was writing peacefully in my journal and he comes and looks over my shoulder and without asking reads my personal thoughts! Who could be more inconsiderate of other people's privacy? Honestly, he's lucky I didn't hex him into next week for doing what is the most horrible thing he has ever done. And that takes a lot of work! Oh! I can't even think about it without getting all worked up and angry! I need to find a book.

I feel much better now that I have read through several chapters of my History text. I can now relax in class for a bit knowing that I have covered the next unit. I must admit though, my notes are not as thorough as they would be had I not been so vexed. To finish my much earlier thought, I personally believe that when Ron is being so utterly dim that my intelligence is so insulted that the only solution is to have a physical reaction. Thus I experience stomach problems and likewise I have contracted a terminal illness. I will have to delve into this theory at a later date as it is quite late now.


End file.
